Hello again. This post it about how I challenge myself, but also about how you can challenge yourself. I like to compete, and I love to win. To win, one must be better than others. But how can one be better than others? By developing own skills and knowledge. If you have questions or comments, feel free to contact me=)
First thing to do is to know your weaknesses and strengths. Are you a good speaker? If yes, then use it for your advantage. If not, figure out WHY you're not a good speaker. Is your voice not big enough? Are you anxious? There could be many different kind of reasons, but you have to know yourself well enough to recognize your flaws. If you're anxious when in front of others, figure out WHY you're anxious. You won't need the knowing that because of anxiousness you're bad speaker. You have to know why you're anxious, and how can you solve the problem. Making yourself better is not easy. If it was, everybody would do it. When you know what to develop in yourself, you're on right track. This is what I also do, daily.
I learnt to figure out my flaws when I played ice hockey. I was still quite young but determined to be better than others. My dad was one of the coaches in my team and he helped me to think by myself how to get better. I asked from coaches what did I do good, or bad in games and in trainings. I started to do small drills when I waited on side my turn to be in goal. I took a puck and practiced stick handling. Now a days when I play in one of those hockey players graveyards, beer league, I feel comfortable to go play the puck outside the net and even do some small dekes on opposite players. Is that easy? Not for most goalies, but for me it is since I have practiced it a lot.
Skill is easy to develop but psyche is totally different thing. Getting rid of anxiousness is not easy. Trust me, I know what I am talking about. After playing ice hockey for almost 20 years, I have become insecure of my own skills. Put 20 adolescence boys in the same locker room 5 times a week and see what happens. Lots of mean things you wouldn't believe. I actually never liked sports because of the team spirit. I liked ice hockey because I liked to be on ice. Same for every sport. I don't like the side effects of sports. Bromance sort of things are not for me. I love to PLAY. Anyway, lots of competing, and mean people are not a good combination. I drifted away from the topic, again. Sorry about that. How did I get rid of anxiousness? I didn't. I am doing my best all the time. I HATE presenting in front of others. But I LOVE the endorphin. And as I already said, I want to be better than I ever was. That is why I want to be presenting school projects even thought I don't like to be in front of class. But I am getting used to it already. It just took many years.
Why is it so difficult to step outside of the comfort zone? Because it is in our genes. Our brains are lazy. Why waste that useful energy to something that won't help to survive? Our body hasn't changed at all in tens of thousands years. Evolution is really slow. We didn't need to think the long term solutions when we were collecting berries and hunting for meat. We were meant to protect our children and survive. To survive there was only two ways. Fight or flight. People how fought the enemy or ran away like a brave coward survived and were able to continue the species. The ones who stayed on the ground and started thinking options, died. We are the offspring of those who made decisions fast. That is why most of our decisions are made by intuition and in seconds. How many times in a day you think a decision for longer than 10 seconds? Not many times. These days it is important to think about the long term solutions which is really difficult because of our ancestors.
Our genes are the reason why we can't resist very well our impulses. But we can fight against our nature. The ones who are best at resisting temptations are most likely going to be successful. (THE marshmallow test). Marshmallow test is legendary psychological test led by Walter Mischel. In the test child were given one marshmallow and they were allowed to eat it. But if the child could wait for 15 minutes, he/she would get another marshmallow. Why is this test so meaningful? The subjects were tested many times years after the marshmallow test, and those children who could wait for that 15 minutes, were more likely to live happier, healthier and better life than those children who ate the marshmallow right away. Are they going to live better life only because they didn't eat the marshmallow? Yes and no. The test only shows how important is to have impulse control. More about impulse control and it's importance in next post.
I have bad impulse control. I can't focus on one thing if something interesting is happening at the same time. I need to close television, websites and bury my phone to the ground if I want something dull to be done. Luckily I know how to motivate myself. I like to learn new things and that helps to do boring tasks. If I am able to convince myself that this skill is going to be useful in the future, I find it easier to perform well. It works for me. It is like tricking yourself to be interested in something that you don't like. Just like I would be third person playing puppet master with myself.
Our genes are the reason why we can't resist very well our impulses. But we can fight against our nature. The ones who are best at resisting temptations are most likely going to be successful. (THE marshmallow test). Marshmallow test is legendary psychological test led by Walter Mischel. In the test child were given one marshmallow and they were allowed to eat it. But if the child could wait for 15 minutes, he/she would get another marshmallow. Why is this test so meaningful? The subjects were tested many times years after the marshmallow test, and those children who could wait for that 15 minutes, were more likely to live happier, healthier and better life than those children who ate the marshmallow right away. Are they going to live better life only because they didn't eat the marshmallow? Yes and no. The test only shows how important is to have impulse control. More about impulse control and it's importance in next post.
I have bad impulse control. I can't focus on one thing if something interesting is happening at the same time. I need to close television, websites and bury my phone to the ground if I want something dull to be done. Luckily I know how to motivate myself. I like to learn new things and that helps to do boring tasks. If I am able to convince myself that this skill is going to be useful in the future, I find it easier to perform well. It works for me. It is like tricking yourself to be interested in something that you don't like. Just like I would be third person playing puppet master with myself.
Other way to get out of the comfort zone is to jump towards the darkness. For example: What do we fear the most? The unkown. That is the reason why most of the racist people don't have good education. They lack the knowledge that neither skin color, gender, or age make us different from each other. Or they lack the opportunities of meeting different kind of people. I always thought that I don't like getting tackled by big sweaty man before I tried Rugby. After one season I have realized that there is nothing to fear. Nothing to fear since I know what to fear. Nothing at all! (expect bruises, concussions, bone fractures etc). Well there is something to fear, but at least I know what to expect.
Doing something by myself is easy if I am consistent, but working as a group is difficult. It is difficult to do decisions as a team. I like to be in control of most of the things. I don't want to take a chance that somebody else is going to screw up because then I couldn't say "hey at least I did my best". But that is not working as a team. Being valuable part to a group is an important asset. Team consists from different kind of individuals. I know that I have a lot to learn from other people and that is why I like to do group projects. Being part of different kind of groups teaches always something new. Working with the same faces again and again is easy, but after some time, won't teach anything new. That is the biggest reason I'd like to be part of different kind of groups. I want to learn.
Other thing I regularly do to get out of the comfort zone is lifting. I like to work out, and I like to lift heavy. But the thing is, nobody feels comfortable when trying to brake the limits. Have you ever done your very best and still failed? It feels awful, doesn't it? I like to do heavy squats and deadlifts, but I don't like to test my limits. It is hard mentally. It is difficult to focus on lifting without thinking "what if I am not strong enough". That kind of insecurity won't help building muscle. But to get stronger you have to get out of the comfort zone and go to the gym even if you are tired or in bad mood. If you are not consistent, you are going to lose the grip. You're not developing by doing fun things. You are developing by doing those things that make you cry like a baby. When the unpleasant things get okay, you're growing up. That is impulse control by it's best. We all like to see the results, but not anyone is ready to work for it. I sometimes post my lifts to the Instagram so I can see how I have developed and also to show others how strong I am (not, if you ask other Rugby players).
Trying my break my deadlift record
When I met my girlfriend, I didn't speak Swedish. At all. I have studied Swedish in school, but I wasn't wise enough to take everything out of the education. I was stupid, just like most of the 15 year old teenagers. I couldn't see a reason to study the language. Then I met Miia. I wanted to understand Swedish. I wanted to be part of her family. I wanted to learn the language. I started to ask things in Swedish, and I even talked with her family using language I never used out of school borders. It was frustrating. Spending holiday with nice people who talked language I didn't understand was annoying. I wanted to be part of the fun. I felt like I was outsider. Luckily family of Miia is kind and they helped me and explained the words I couldn't understand. I started step by step comprehend few words, and after a while even some sentences. It just takes time and determination. I still am quite bad at it, but I am learning, because I have the will. We play the quiz from hufvudstadsbladet every Sunday morning, and I speak Swedish to our dog, Svante. Our digital business course has few students that don't speak Finnish, at all. When our class started, we were promised that the course includes a lot English. But still there has been many lectures and presentations held in Finnish. It must be really frustrating for those few students. I know how they feel. Encountering issues with "foreign" language in Finland has helped me to see the how difficult it is to feel comfortable in Finland for those who have not born here. We must do everything to help those who can't speak the language, yet.
When you're trying to challenge yourself, remember few things.
First of all, It shouldn't be too awful. If you're too stressed out, you'll only get sick and possibly get depressed. Life should also be enjoyable even when you're trying to step outside of the comfort zone. Discover your weaknesses so you know what to improve. Work out those weaknesses and the reason of them. Don't put too many irons in the fire. Focus on one thing at the time, and move to another one when you are ready with previous task. Most important of all, enjoy the progress. If you're not going to enjoy being doctor, change the area of study while you still can. Have a great weekend and enjoy your progress of getting better than before=)
Doing something by myself is easy if I am consistent, but working as a group is difficult. It is difficult to do decisions as a team. I like to be in control of most of the things. I don't want to take a chance that somebody else is going to screw up because then I couldn't say "hey at least I did my best". But that is not working as a team. Being valuable part to a group is an important asset. Team consists from different kind of individuals. I know that I have a lot to learn from other people and that is why I like to do group projects. Being part of different kind of groups teaches always something new. Working with the same faces again and again is easy, but after some time, won't teach anything new. That is the biggest reason I'd like to be part of different kind of groups. I want to learn.
Other thing I regularly do to get out of the comfort zone is lifting. I like to work out, and I like to lift heavy. But the thing is, nobody feels comfortable when trying to brake the limits. Have you ever done your very best and still failed? It feels awful, doesn't it? I like to do heavy squats and deadlifts, but I don't like to test my limits. It is hard mentally. It is difficult to focus on lifting without thinking "what if I am not strong enough". That kind of insecurity won't help building muscle. But to get stronger you have to get out of the comfort zone and go to the gym even if you are tired or in bad mood. If you are not consistent, you are going to lose the grip. You're not developing by doing fun things. You are developing by doing those things that make you cry like a baby. When the unpleasant things get okay, you're growing up. That is impulse control by it's best. We all like to see the results, but not anyone is ready to work for it. I sometimes post my lifts to the Instagram so I can see how I have developed and also to show others how strong I am (not, if you ask other Rugby players).
Trying my break my deadlift record
When I met my girlfriend, I didn't speak Swedish. At all. I have studied Swedish in school, but I wasn't wise enough to take everything out of the education. I was stupid, just like most of the 15 year old teenagers. I couldn't see a reason to study the language. Then I met Miia. I wanted to understand Swedish. I wanted to be part of her family. I wanted to learn the language. I started to ask things in Swedish, and I even talked with her family using language I never used out of school borders. It was frustrating. Spending holiday with nice people who talked language I didn't understand was annoying. I wanted to be part of the fun. I felt like I was outsider. Luckily family of Miia is kind and they helped me and explained the words I couldn't understand. I started step by step comprehend few words, and after a while even some sentences. It just takes time and determination. I still am quite bad at it, but I am learning, because I have the will. We play the quiz from hufvudstadsbladet every Sunday morning, and I speak Swedish to our dog, Svante. Our digital business course has few students that don't speak Finnish, at all. When our class started, we were promised that the course includes a lot English. But still there has been many lectures and presentations held in Finnish. It must be really frustrating for those few students. I know how they feel. Encountering issues with "foreign" language in Finland has helped me to see the how difficult it is to feel comfortable in Finland for those who have not born here. We must do everything to help those who can't speak the language, yet.
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| My Swedish teacher |
When you're trying to challenge yourself, remember few things.
First of all, It shouldn't be too awful. If you're too stressed out, you'll only get sick and possibly get depressed. Life should also be enjoyable even when you're trying to step outside of the comfort zone. Discover your weaknesses so you know what to improve. Work out those weaknesses and the reason of them. Don't put too many irons in the fire. Focus on one thing at the time, and move to another one when you are ready with previous task. Most important of all, enjoy the progress. If you're not going to enjoy being doctor, change the area of study while you still can. Have a great weekend and enjoy your progress of getting better than before=)
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